im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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