in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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