Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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