I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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