So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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