We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
