Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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