Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
