Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
