My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize