dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
