I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
