i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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