I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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