you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
