what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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