addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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