I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
