That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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