One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
