this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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