we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
