You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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