So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
