Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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