$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
