Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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