Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
