as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize