This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
