Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would fuck him just for his dog
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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