Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize