I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
