she was so not down for the gang bang
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
