can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
