I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
