I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
