I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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