Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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