there was a trapeze. enough said
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
