my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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