Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Is it because I queefed?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
