i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
