You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize