he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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