I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
