Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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