Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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