Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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