im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
youre lurking in front of me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
