It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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