Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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