We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
