is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
