You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We had sex on a dog bed..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
