Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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