You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
