i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
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btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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