we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
