She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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