We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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