The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
