Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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