Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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