So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
