well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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