So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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