When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
