They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
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Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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