This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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